ELDER WOMAN.

     I came up with this superheroine a long time ago, it’s kind of funny.  Okay, I’ll just say some of her powers and other things.

     Elder Woman sounds a little like “Wonder Woman”, so that’s how I first thought of her name.  Her age is a mystery, but we do know she’s DEFINITELY over 100 years old.  Her family is unknown, but Elder Woman likes babysitting in her free time.  Her catch phrase is “Respect your elders!”

     Now for some of her powers!!!


1. The Belt:
Elder Woman lashes out her belt and spanks the enemy.  She shouts, “RESPECT your elders!”  The enemy is stunned, and forced to think about what they just did.  50% of the time the enemy gives up the attack.

2. Denture Boomerang:
Elder Woman whisks her hand into her mouth and takes out her dentures.  She aims her denture boomerang, and throws it at the enemy.  It hits them, and they dentures come right back into Elder Woman’s mouth.

3. Super Hearing Aid:
Elder Woman adjusts her hearing aid.  It makes a loud, high pitched squeal.  Enemies nearby are temporarily stunned from the terrible noise.  (Yeah, like they’re also stunned with the belt.  I know.)  It also gives her super hearing.

4. Cane Club:
Elder Woman lifts up her cane, and harshly bonks it on the enemy’s head.

5. Walker Rocket:
Elder Woman has rocket boosters on her walker, which allow her to fly!  She can fly anywhere with enough oxygen.

6. Experienced Brain:
Elder Woman is very smart, she made all of these tools herself!  Well, she didn’t completely make them.  She bought an ordinary walker, cane, hearing aid, belt and false teeth.  Then she upgraded them!  All of the actual powers from the tools she engineered herself, just her.  Even though she fights, Elder Woman is very nice, wise and experienced.